Collide
by fieldagent85
Summary: Jed and Abbey encounter a mysterious old friend when the staff accompanies them on a trip to England.
1. Chapter 1

It was a fairly light day at the White House. No situations, no scandals, no misunderstandings, no mutinies. Thus, Charlie Young wasn't too nervous about interrupting the President in the Oval Office.

"Excuse me, Mr. President," Charlie said, opening the door.

"Yeah, come on in, Charlie," Jed said, looking down at the files he was reading over.

"Sir, this just came for you."

Charlie handed him a large, decorated envelope.

"What's this?"

"Open it, sir."

Jed opened the envelope, read the card inside, and let out a heavy sigh.

"Charlie, we were having a good day. You just ruined it."

"Can I ask what it is?"

"You'll find out soon enough," Jed replied.

"Yes, sir."

"Do me a favor, Charlie, have Debbie clear any appointments over lunch and contact one of the First Lady's people. Schedule me a lunch with her."

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you, Charlie."

"Thank you, sir."

Charlie slowly backed out of the office and closed the door. Jed sighed as he placed the envelope back on his desk.

"This should be interesting."

At 12:30pm, Abbey walked into the Oval Office, without so much as a knock.

"Hi," she said, walking towards his desk.

"Hey." He stood.

"What's up?"

"Don't you want to eat first?"

"Not really, no."

Jed sighed.

"Ok, let's sit down."

They moved to sit in the two chairs adjacent from each other.

"I'm nervous. Should I be nervous?" Abbey asked.

"That's entirely your call."

"Ok. Talk."

"Well. Guess what I received today."

"I couldn't possibly."

"An invitation," Jed replied.

"As descriptive as that is, I'm afraid I'm not completely on board with you on this one yet."

"An invitation from the Lord of the Booze."

"Lord John?" Abbey asked, with surprise.

"How many other men have you heard me refer to as 'Lord of the Booze'?"

"Fair point. An invitation to what?"

"A wedding."

"A wedding! Who's wedding!" Abbey exclaimed.

"His wedding."

"You're kidding!"

He pulled out the invitation and put his glasses on to read it.

"You are cordially invited to the ceremony in which Lord J. Marbury will be joined in holy matrimony to Miss P. Wendice on the day of April 23rd in the place of Westminster Abbey."

"I thought Westminster was reserved for royalty," Abbey commented.

"Apparently he qualifies."

"Well. This is a surprise."

"I'll say," Jed agreed.

"We are going, aren't we?"

"Hell yes. Wild horses couldn't drag me away from this wedding."

Abbey nodded.

"P. Wendice. God, that name sounds familiar."

"Hmm?"

"P. Wendice. John's fiancee," she explained.

"Ah yes."

"Does the name sound familiar to you?"

"Vaguely," Jed replied.

"Maybe if we were given a first name."

"Mmm, maybe."

"Jed."

"What?"

"You're zoning out. What are you thinking about?" Abbey inquired.

"Whether or not I can book us a room in Buckingham Palace."

Abbey laughed.

"It's not a hotel, Jed. We have to be invited."

"Then we'll tell them to invite us."

"I highly doubt it's as simple as all that."

"As the leader of the free world, I will demand it."

"Yeah, ok. You do that. Let me know how it all works out."


	2. Chapter 2

The nexy day, as they packed for their upcoming trip to England, Abbey decided it would be a good time to quiz her husband on the details.

"When do we leave for Andrews?" She asked.

"Tomorrow, 7 AM."

"So…probably around lunch time?"

"Yeah."

"And who will be joining us from your staff?"

"Charlie, Josh, Sam, and Annabeth. You?"

"Just Amy," Abbey replied. "Why those three?"

"Annabeth because she feels she needs to witness the event firsthand, and I agree. Josh because you're bringing Amy, and who am I to separate star-crossed lovers?"

"Uh huh. And what about Sam?"

"Because Mallory's coming along," he answered.

"Mallory's coming?"

"She wants to meet the Queen."

"So we'll be seeing the Queen then?"

"Of course we'll be seeing the Queen. The British Ambassador is getting married."

"Are we staying Buckingham Palace?"

He grinned.

"You bet."

"How on earth did you manage to swing that?"

"Abbey. I'm the President of the United States. You underestimate my influence."

"The Queen doesn't know yet, does she?"

"Not technically. But I hear she loves surprises."

"Hey, did you figure out who P. Wendice is yet?" Abbey questioned.

"No, did you?"

"No."

"Guess we'll find out."

"Indeed we will."

"Excuse me, Mr. President," Charlie said, entering the Oval Office.

"Yeah, Charlie."

"We have to leave for Andrews now."

"All right. Hey, Charlie?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do you know who P. Wendice is?" Jed asked.

"Sir?"

"Lord Marbury's fiancee."

"No, sir. Would you like me to find out for you?"

"Nah. I'll feel better if it just comes to me. Just to prove my mind's not shot to hell yet."

"Yes, sir."

"First Lady waiting for me?"

"She's in the car, sir."

"Everyone else ready?"

"Yes, sir. They've been ready."

"I'm the last one, huh?"

"You usually are, sir."

"Thanks, Charlie. Glad to see you getting paid to mock me."

"As am I, sir."

Jed sighed and stood up.

"All right. Let's go."

"Can I ask you a question?" Charlie inquired as they walked through the West Wing.

"You may."

"Do you think this wedding is for real?"

"Is it for real, Charlie?"

"Yeah. I mean, it doesn't seem a little off-color to you, sir?"

"Who am I to judge?" Jed replied.

"You're the President of the United States."

"Thank you, Charlie. I was wondering what all this fanfare was about."

"I'm just saying, Lord John is nearly sixty years old. He's famous for his women and his liquor."

"To say nothing of his politics?"

"Yes, sir."

"Ok."

"It just seems odd to me that he would be getting married at this stage in his life," Charlie said.

"Maybe he fell in love, Charlie. Did that ever occur to you?"

"No, sir, it didn't."

"Don't you think that's a little unfair, Charlie?"

"What do you think, sir?"

"I think…no, I hope…that this wedding is for real, as you so aptly put it. God knows John doesn't need another scandal in his career."

"I agree, sir. That's why I asked."

"I would keep your misgivings to yourself around his Lordship."

"Yes, sir."

"The thing that bothers me is not knowing his fiancee," Jed admitted.

"P. Wendice?"

"Yeah. I could swear I know that name."

"Did you ask the First Lady?"

"She can't remember either."

"Well, sir. You'll find out in about seven hours."

"Gee, I can't wait."

"That's the spirit, sir."


	3. Chapter 3

"ABIGAIL!"

Lord John Marbury came prancing towards them as they descended from the airplane. Abbey began laughing the moment she heard her name—only Lord John could say it that way. He walked towards her, arms wide open.

"You look…fantastic!" He shouted.

"Thank you! You're looking quite snazzy yourself there, John," Abbey replied.

"Why, thank you, love. You've done something to yourself. What is it? You certainly haven't gotten any taller. Though you may have gotten shorter…"

"It's the hair."

"You cut it."

"And colored it."

"Ah! So you did. Looks wonderful. Suits you."

"Jed hates it," Abbey said, turning to look at her thus far ignored husband.

"I don't hate it! I just..don't prefer it."

"Ah. Mr. President," John said, shaking his head.

"You're looking well, John."

"I should say so. And you're looking very…tired yourself."

"Thanks, John. Quite the charmer are you," Jed replied.

"You don't have to tell me twice. Right, Abigail?"

"There's a not a man on this earth more charming than you, John," Abbey replied, graciously.

"So I thought. Come now! To the limo."

Once they were settled on the limo, Abbey asked, "You didn't bring your fiancee with you, John?"

"No, no. She's quite tied up with last minute wedding preparations. She sends you her regards."

"Has she…mentioned us at all?" Jed questioned.

"Besides the initial shock when I told her the President of the United States would be attending, I don't think so, no."

"Hmm."

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh. No reason. Don't worry about it." Abbey smiled.

"As you wish. So. Staying at the Palace, are we?"

"Mmm, yes, Jed booked us a room there," Abbey replied, laughing.

"Did he? Excellent. Her Majesty must preparing for your arrival as we speak."

"Yes, I'm sure she's putting little chocolates on our pillows and getting us clean towels," Jed said.

"What an image," Abbey commented.

"Now. I would just like to go over the details with you quickly," John said.

"By all means."

"The ceremony will be held Saturday afternoon, at Westminster Abbey. The reception will be held at the Palace, in the garden. And Mr. President, I'd be honored if you would attend the bachelor party tomorrow evening."

"Bachelor party?"

"Well, what fun is getting married if you can't have a bachelor party first?" John asked.

"You have a point there. Will there be alcohol?"

"Naturally."

"Music?"

"But of course."

"Strippers?"

"Without question."

"I'm in!"

"Jed!" Abbey exclaimed.

"Fear not, fair Abigail, I'll keep my eye on him for you," John replied.

"Please John," Jed said, with a laugh. "The only person your eyes will be on is the stripper."

"I don't deny it."

"I'm not entirely comfortable with all of this."

"Don't worry, it's all in good taste, I assure you," John told her.

"Strippers are in good taste?"

"These aren't just any strippers, you see. They have class."

"Uh huh. Jed, I'm going to give Ron very strict instructions about this party. You get within three feet of that stripper and he's going to shoot her, understand?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Jed said.

"Good. Carry on."

After they arrived at Buckingham Palace, Lord John Marbury accompanied the President and First Lady of the United States to have afternoon tea with the Queen of England.

"Your Majesty, I cannot express my thanks enough for allowing us to stay with you here at the Palace," Abbey said.

"Oh, it's my pleasure, Abigail," the Queen replied, taking a sip from her tea cup.

Jed and Abbey watched with amusement as she raised her pinky finger while she drank.

"John, will the Prime Minister be attending the ceremony?" The Queen asked.

"I believe he will be, yes."

"That will be nice. My son tells me that he and Camilla will be attending as well."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"What about your children, Mr. President?" The Queen questioned.

"Oh, they stayed behind this time."

"Pity. I was so looking forward to meeting them."

"The feeling is certainly mutual, Your Majesty. We did, however, bring along Leo McGarry's daughter, Mallory O'Brien. She's absolutely dying to meet you," Jed explained.

"Ah, Leo McGarry. How is he?"

"Doing well, Your Majesty. Thank you."

"Who is your new Chief of Staff?"

"Claudia Jean Cregg."

"Oh, yes. I met her last time, did I not?"

"You did, Your Majesty."

"Where's Patricia this afternoon, John?" The Queen asked.

Patricia. Jed and Abbey looked at each other. Patricia.

"Last minute preparations, of course. You know Patty," John replied, with a shrug.

"Yes, quite the little worry wart, that one."

"Indeed," Lord John agreed.

"How does she feel about becoming Lady Marbury on Saturday?" Queen Elizabeth asked.

"I would say she's feeling quite good about it," John said with a laugh.

"I should certainly think so."

"Why, Mr. President. You've turned awfully quiet," John stated.

"What? Oh, I'm sorry. Just thinking."

"I see. You too, Abigail. Quiet as a mouse."

"Uh…just thinking."

"If memory serves, neither of you were quite this quiet on your last visit," the Queen observed.

"They certainly were not, Your Majesty," Lord John agreed.

"I'm sorry…John, did you say Patricia?" Jed asked.

"Patricia? Yes. What of her?"

"She's your fiancee?" Abbey questioned.

"She is."

"Patricia Wendice?"

"Yes! What of her!"

"Nothing," Abbey replied, quickly.

"Mr. President?"

"Nothing."

"Hmm. Peculiar," Lord John mused.

"Peculiar indeed," Abbey whispered to herself.


	4. Chapter 4

Jed and Abbey began the long walk back to their room in the Palace, both of their heads swimming due to the information they had just been told.

"It can't be," Abbey whispered.

"No," Jed agreed. "Of course not."

"It wouldn't make any sense."

"No sense at all."

"Are you mocking me?"

"What? No!"

"It must be a different Patricia Wendice," Abbey decided.

"Yeah. Must be. I mean, it has to be."

"Mm hmm."

"You would think she'd have contacted us if…"

"Yeah, you would think."

"It's not like we're hard to reach," Jed said.

Abbey looked at him incredulously.

"I meant it's not like we're hard to find. We're possibly the two most recognizable people on the planet."

"Maybe she was intimidated."

"No! Abbey, no. It's not her. There's absolutely no way. They told us…"

"I know."

"I mean, you can't mess something like that up, can you?"

"No. No, of course not," Abbey said.

"Ok then. Let's not worry about it."

"Right. And even if she was still…"

"She's not."

"But even if she was, there's no way she'd hook up with John. Admit it."

Jed paused as they reached the door to their room.

"Are you so sure about that?" He asked.

"Yes! I mean…aren't you?"

"Well…yeah, sure. Yeah."

"Ok. Then that's that."

Jed opened the door and Abbey walked into the room, with him following close behind her.

"Abbey."

"Hmm?"

"Would it be such a bad thing?" Jed questioned.

"That's not the point. It's absolutely impossible, Jed."

"You think so?"

"Yes! After all, the woman is dead!"

The middle of the night, Jed awoke to the sound of a ruckus in the hallway. He could hear loud footsteps scurrying across the floors and numerous squeals and laughter. He rolled over and shook Abbey awake.

"Abbey. Abbey!"

She opened one eye.

"What time is it?"

"I don't know. Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Abbey asked, groggily.

Just then, there was a loud bang followed by giggles and squeals.

"That."

"Yeah, I hear it. Go back to sleep."

"What is it?"

"Who cares? It's the middle of the night," Abbey replied, turning back over.

"Abbey!"

"Drop it, Jed."

"Fine."

He threw the covers off of him and got out of bed, walking over to her side.

"Last chance, sweetheart."

Abbey groaned, eyes still closed.

"You asked for it."

He pulled the covers off her as well and grabbed her arm, pulling her out of bed. He caught her just before she hit the floor.

"Well, aren't you my knight in shining armor."

"Woke you up, didn't it?" Jed said with a grin, helping her to stand up on her own.

"You know, you shouldn't be lifting things so heavy."

"Please. You weigh about ninety pounds, Abbey."

"Good answer."

"Yeah, well, I've been married to you long enough to recognize THAT trick, babe."

More crashes and squeals were heard.

"Good God, what IS that?" Abbey asked, finally interested.

"See, now, aren't you glad I woke you up? Buckingham Palace is being robbed."

Abbey rolled her eyes.

"Come on."

She made her way over to the door, Jed following close behind her, and slowly opened it.

"Oh my God!"

"Good evening, Mrs. Bartlet," Sam said with a charming smile.

"Hi, Abbey," Mallory said, sheepishly.

Jed stepped out from behind the shadows.

"Mr. President. Hope we didn't wake you."

"No, no, why would you say that?" Jed replied, sarcastically.

"Good evening, sir," Josh said, popping out from behind a suit of armor.

"Josh."

"Ouch, Josh, you're stepping on my…" Amy glanced up. "Oh! Mr. President, Mrs. Bartlet, hi."

"What, may I ask, is going on out here?"

"Nothing. Just…"

"Playing hide and seek?" Abbey finished.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Hmm. I was really hoping you were going to dispute me on that."

"No, ma'am."

"You do realize this is Buckingham Palace. Not the White House."

"Yes, sir."

"Although, that doesn't mean we condone games like this in the White House either."

"No, sir, of course not."

"If the Queen were to see you…" Jed began.

"Jed, I highly doubt the Queen is planning to take a leisurely walk through this wing of the Palace at two in the morning," Abbey replied.

"Nevertheless. Back to your respective rooms, troops."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

Jed and Abbey retreated back into their room and closed the door.

"Who's idea was it to bring them?" Abbey asked.

"Mine," Jed replied, glumly.

"That's right. Now. I want you to go back to bed and think about what you've done."

"Yes, ma'am. But…"

"No buts, Mr. President, go."

"But only if you'll join me."

"I'll consider it."

"What a headmistress you would make."


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, the Bartlets were able to sleep in for the first time in years. Jed, however, was up by 9 o'clock—which was late for him. He decided to let Abbey sleep (he felt bad about waking her up the night before) and instead, went off in search of his faithful followers- Sam and Josh. When he knocked on Sam's door, there was no answer, so he let himself in. He found both Sam and Mallory laying in bed sound asleep and backed out of the room quickly as possible, moving next door to Josh's room. Again, no answer, and again he let himself in. Yes, just as he suspected. He found both Josh and Amy sound asleep. He quickly exited the room.

"Looks like everyone got a little action last night," Jed muttered under his breath.

Then, he decided to go check on Annabeth, the one person who hadn't brought along a 'significant other.' When he knocked on the door, Annabeth quickly answered it. She looked a little flustered, her hair held back in a ponytail. Jed liked Annabeth. He was the only one in the White House, besides his wife, that he could actually look down to, for Annabeth was even shorter than Abbey, which said a lot.

"Mr. President!"

"Good morning."

"Good morning to you, sir."

Jed glanced behind her into her room. To his utter surprise, there was a strange fellow in her bed.

"Annabeth."

"Yes, sir," Annabeth choked.

"That's not a man I recognize. If you're going to be fooling around on the job, you know I'd prefer you do it with a member of my staff."

"Yes, sir."

"Annabeth, I'm kidding."

"Right. Yes, of course, sir."

"Where'd you pick him up anyway?"

"He works here at the Palace, sir," Annabeth replied, nervously.

"Really," Jed replied, with amusement. "A little co-mingling I see. What'd he do, ask if he could change your guard?"

Annabeth swallowed hard.

"Yes, sir."

"That was a joke. Don't tell me he…ok, I don't want to know the answer to that. I'm going back to my room now."

"Yes, sir."

"Round up the troops. I want to see you all at my room at ten hundred hours."

"Will do, sir."

"Thank you. One last thing."

"Yes, sir."

"Tactus, gratus, et pensum," Jed said.

"Sir?"

"Tact, grace, and poise."

"Right. I'm not sure I follow, sir," Annabeth admitted.

"Good girl, Annabeth. Ten hundred hours," he replied, walking away.

Annabeth watched him with confusion as he slowly gravitated away from her, then returned inside her room and shut the door.

When Jed returned to his room, Abbey was already awake. She walked out of the bathroom and pulled the toothbrush out of her mouth when she saw him.

"Where've you been? I woke up and you were gone."

"I wanted to let you sleep."

"Oh, no. Jed, tell me you weren't out quizzing the guards on the history of Buckingham Palace."

"No, as a matter of fact, I decided to visit Sam and Josh."

"And?"

"Looks like they really enjoyed themselves last night," Jed said with a smirk.

"You found Mallory in with Sam and Amy in with Josh, didn't you?"

"That's right. And so I went to check on Annabeth."

"She wasn't alone either, was she?"

"To my utter shock and surprise, she was not. She picked up a guard, it looks like. I certainly hope he was off-duty and he's just lost his job."

"Oh, good."

"Good? Why good?"

"I was afraid they may have heard us last night, but if they were all busy doing things of their own…I'm fairly certain they didn't," Abbey said.

"You know, it's funny how the leader of the free world and his disciples are all too busy canoodling to attend to matters of state during their stay at Buckingham Palace."

Abbey did a quick double take.

"Did you just say canoodling?"

"That's right, Sweet Knees. Canoodling. Can't handle it?"

"Yeah. You're too much of a rebel for me, babe."

She popped her toothbrush back into her mouth and went into the bathroom. Jed rummaged through his suitcase looking for something suitable to wear.

"Abbey?"

"Mmm"  
"Are you nervous?"

"About what?" She asked.

"Meeting John's fiancee."

"It's not her, Jed."

"Still."

"Why should I be nervous if it's not her?" Abbey questioned.

"Because it could be."

"That's absolutely ridiculous and you know it."

"I don't know, I have an odd feeling about this, Abbey."

"You and your odd feelings."

"Careful now. Me and my odd feelings happen to run this country."

"Not this country, Mr. President. Try somewhere across the Atlantic Ocean."

"Oh yeah. Well, you know what I mean, damnit."

Abbey emerged from the bathroom wearing a tight, short-sleeve powder blue top and a knee-length khaki skirt.

"How do I look?"

"How do you always look?"

"Jed," Abbey replied, sternly.

"You look pulchritudinous, mon amour."

"You wanna try that one more time, cheri?"

"You look very beautiful, my love."

"The 'my love' part I knew. I'm the one who can actually speak French, if you recall."

"Ah, but 'mon' and 'amour' are the only two French words I need to know when speaking to you."

Abbey put her hand on her heart in a mocking gesture.

"You've touched me deeply."

"But not in the right places."

Abbey raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why, Mr. President, are you trying to make a pass at me?"

"I don't know, is it working?"

"How long until the troops show up?"

"Half an hour."

"I still have to put my makeup on so…no dice."

"Fair enough. Which suit should I wear?"

"How about the one I already laid out for you on the bed?" Abbey suggested.

Jed glanced over at the suit on the bed.

"Oh."

Just as Abbey was making her way back into the bathroom, there was a knock on the door.

"Come on in!" Jed called.

The door slowly opened, allowing for an average-sized, red-haired woman entered the room, a sheepish expression plain on her face. At that moment, Abbey walked into the room and stopped short at the sight of their visitors. Jed's eyes widened and his face went pale. Just seconds later, Abbey's knees went weak, her eyes rolled back inside her head before shutting completely, and she fell to the ground.


	6. Chapter 6

Jed immediately kneeled down, lifted her off the floor and placed her carefully on the bed. The red-headed woman ran over to the bed and sat down, watching as Jed tried to awaken his unconscious wife.

"Get me a wet towel, will you?" Jed asked.

She nodded and went into the bathroom, returning a few seconds later with a moist facecloth. Jed placed it on Abbey's forehead, then turned to look at their visitor.

"I knew it would be you."

"Well done," she replied, demurely.

"Abbey was convinced otherwise. She thought it was impossible."

"I don't blame her for thinking that, do you?"

"No. Patty, what the hell is going on?"

"That's a long story, Jed."

"Then you better get started because we don't have all day."

"Don't you think we should wait until she wakes up?" She asked.

"I'll fill her in."

"You know, I was really hoping you wouldn't come."

"Yeah, John said you were shocked when you heard."

"Yes, but for reasons he wouldn't understand."

"Why'd you do it, Patty?" Jed asked.

"Do what, Jed?"

"Fake your own death."

"I did not fake my—well, not really anyway."

"Then what the hell do you call it?"

"You and Abbey are the only people who thought I was dead."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Everyone else knows I'm alive. Quite obviously," she said.

"We were at your funeral, Patty!" Jed shouted.

"Yes, you were," she replied, quietly.

"How the hell do you explain that!"

"I can't."

"Your whole family was there, for chrissakes. Your twin sister was there!"

"All paid actors, Jed. Except the sister."

"You hired actors to play your family. You have got to be kidding me."

"I assure you, this is no joke."

"I don't understand. Why would you do something like that?"

"Because Abbey was the only person, besides myself, that Patty ever showed her scar to."

Jed's head was swimming. He closed his eyes for a moment, then reopened them.

"I'm sorry, what?"

She lifted up her skirt slightly and pointed to the pale skin on her thigh.

"See? No scar."

"And Patty had a scar on her right thigh…" Jed whispered, the pieces of the puzzle finally coming together.

"That's right."

"Victoria."

"That's right."

"You're Victoria."

She nodded.

"You…killed her?"

Victoria laughed.

"No, no. I'm an opportunist. She died and I ceized the opportunity."

"To do what?"

"To be her."

"Excuse me?"

"My life was crap, Jed. It was pathetic You knew it. Patty discussed me with you guys, I know it, you know it."

"So…you assumed your sister's identity and…"

"Told everyone Victoria died instead."

"But you told us…"

"I told you Patricia died because Abbey knew about the scar. She would have found out sooner or later that I wasn't Patty. She had to think she was dead."

"My God, Victoria! I can't tell Abbey this!" Jed exclaimed.

"Too late," Abbey said, groggily, slowing sitting up. "I heard it all."


End file.
